|I am sure he will feel better when he sees this post.|
When Fab first started learning English, his favorite word (not unlike English learners around the globe, I suppose,) was fuck. He used it like punctuation for months at the beginning of our relationship. When I brought him home to meet the fam a few weeks before we got married, somehow at dinner, the conversation turned to the use of profanity. No doubt, one of us had let something unsavory slip. My mom turned to Fab, who understood about 15% of what was being said around him at the time, and asked if he was in the habit of using such language. "No. Never," was his sensible reply. Then he corrected himself, adding "I often say fuck," and it took about 10 minutes for us to wipe away our tears from laughing so hard. My mom did her best to maintain a disapproving demeanor, to no avail.
Before he really had a good feel for the versatility of the f-bomb, he used it in a haphazard, albeit hilarious fashion. When he was angry with his boss, he would come home and exclaim, "I fuck my boss!" One would be mistaken to assume that I corrected this misuse immediately. It was simply too funny. No, I waited a good long while before I explained the implications of his ejaculations.
So, this past weekend, I was sleeping soundly in the guest bedroom, just barely managing to block out the sound of Fab's whooping cough, since our bedroom is just below. At 7:45 am I received a most unwelcome text message from him: "Hi GG! are you sleeping?" The obvious answer was, "Not anymore!!!" Without looking at my phone, I ran my finger over the keyboard, hit send, put my phone on silence and tried to go back to sleep.
Later that day, when Fab was pouting ever so slightly and complaining that I had told him to eff-off, I denied it vehemently. Why would I do that? He hadn't done anything eff-off worthy all day. He showed me the message I had sent, sure that I had done it because I was mad that he woke me up.
It read: "GGFFG"*
I don't think he will ever believe my side of the story, so I told him it was unconscious revenge for what he did to me on April Fools Day.
* Fab is FG